An Invitation To Become A Vital Part Of The Process

BECOME A PART OF THE PROCESS = BE AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: https://gofund.me/47d735edb

WHAT I’M CALLING IN

Any and every artist throughout time has survived or thrived by the support of benefactors, donors, collectors, patrons, fans, family, and friends. If you'd like to up your role in my life and play a huge part in what I'm creating for the world, here is your chance. Sometimes, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps looks like walking those feet to the help you need. Everyone's biggest problem is the same size, and my biggest problem is housing. I never intended to LIVE in a bus. Life just shook out that way. I'm blessed to have Yonderlust, but it's a glorified tent, and I spend a lot of bandwidth on recreating the bottom rung of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs every 3-6 months. Plus, I am daily dancing around the basics we all take for granted: indoor plumbing, dedicated work spaces, food storage/preparation/and cleaning, trash, leaks, and temperature control.

This is not me whining or begging. This is me inviting others to collaborate with me by becoming an Executive Producer in what I'm creating for the world. This is me just setting aside the fear of what people will think of me, so as to ask for the help I need. If this turns out to be only an exercise in that, then so be it. I want to live in a world where we all feel allowed to ask for the help we need. No matter how embarrassing or scary. So this is me just asking for a little help.

I have been guided to a 1996 doublewide in a small, quiet community on a little lake. The nature of the sale is cash as is, and while unorthodox, it's legit. I've toured it with a real estate powerhouse, and she gives it the green light. It is a 3-bedroom, which allows me to have a dedicated work space for creating music and The Doers Of Things podcast, as well as a guest room I intended to share with others who want/need a quiet space to write/create/dry out/heal. There is a 10x10 on the land as well, where I can set up my stained glass art (an art form I got into over The Great Pause). There is also a big yard which lends itself to a garden and a place for my 16-year-old dog to peacefully spend her last years sunbathing.

HOW I GOT HERE:

12 years ago, I had a "real" job as an outdoor educator for Houston ISD. The only time during the week I could play my guitar was singing my cabin of girls to sleep. I loved the job. I was good at it, too. But the second week of my second year, a 10-year-old girl from my cabin said, "Miss Mary, if you can sing like that, why do you work here?" Out of the mouths of babes, they say. I don't have many regrets in life. All my choices, however questionable, have brought me to who I am, but I regret what I told her. Before I could think about it, "because it's not always practical and it doesn't pay the bills" flew out of my mouth. That conditioning to no trust in my talents, skills, abilities, and passions to supply me with a rich life (i.e., fulfilling, not overflowing bank account rich) has slowed me down my whole life. What that little girl doesn't know is that she put me on a path to myself, and I quit the next week.

Fast forward to now, where music isn't paying all my bills (partly because I still haven't gone full tilt, trying to focus on finding stability first). But that doesn't mean I'm sitting around doing nothing, expecting something to happen. At one point, not too long ago, I had 6 streams of income just to get by. But each allowed me to have the time to create and take opportunities that a typical 9-5 does not allow. As of right now, I have 2.5 income streams (1. work for a service that books people to be on podcasts, 2. writing for an independent news outlet, 1/2. anything that shows up: home cleanings, massage, stage production for concerts and events, house/pet sitting, etc). And it's only because of the kindness of the people who believe in me to the point of letting Yonderlust and me park on their land that I've gotten by. I'm not asking for a handout; I'm offering up a chance for you to play a part in something bigger than you, because everything I'm creating and giving to the world is bigger than me. So it would make sense that it would take more than just little old me to make it happen.

WHY I NEED/WANT THIS HELP:

Despite the rocky foundation of basic needs being met, I'm constantly creating. I've written over 600 songs and write more anytime I make the space for it (which would be a lot easier if I had a dedicated place to play and record and had basic needs met to have the headspace for creating). I've done over 100 interviews for The Doers Of Things podcast with people who are at the top of their field (Grammy winners, people with work in the Smithsonian, people who run radio stations, people whose work sets the bar for their industry, etc). More times than not, I get the feedback that it was one of the best interviews they've ever had. We talk about real topics like the creative process, addiction, vulnerability, courage, healing, sobriety, and passion. So I know I'm creating a quality product. But it takes A LOT of bandwidth (and a lot of my bandwidth is getting spent on basic needs). I also have a weekly radio segment for 100.1 fm KMXT in Kodiak, Alaska (a station 4,000 miles away), so that project is totally self-directed. Which means a lot of bandwidth goes into cranking that out each week, and so far I've done over 175 episodes. I've done all that so far, on only a slice of free brainpower, since most goes into basics, my “real” jobs, and constantly figuring out the next place I can park.

These are not brags or whines; they are behind-the-curtain views at just what is going on over here. I thought maybe my drinking was holding me back (and in fact it was on levels, but it wasn't the sole reason), but now 5 years sober (3 of them in the bus), I can see that, yeah, it's just hard living the life of an artist. The phrase starving artist exists for a reason. But I don't think it has to, because deep down, we all know that it is the art in our lives that helps us through the hard times and lifts us up higher during the good. Being an artist IS a “real” job. Even in a capitalistic society, it serves the same very real function of adding value to our lives.

WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT ART:

Art fuels all of our lives in multiple ways. That song that expresses your pain or joy better than you ever could. That movie that inspires you to be bigger. That book that takes you on a journey outside of this world. That painting that feels like an old friend. We all implicitly value these things, but for some sad reason, we've collectively taken them for granted. To put it better, we take the people who dedicate their lives to creating these things for granted. It's not until an overdose, suicide, or natural death that we really pull back and say, "dang, we lost something important here." This is not me on the ledge!! This is me trying to convey the point that we only have the art we have in this world because of 2 types of people: the people who dedicate their life to creating it (no matter the hardships) and the people who match that value with the resources they have in order to help keep the creator going.

If you aren't the former, here is an opportunity for you to be the latter, the type of person who jumps at the opportunity to show up with what your talents, skills, abilities, and passions have gotten you so as to help someone who is the former do more of what they do. Both people are equally valuable and necessary in this world! So if you want to be a part of putting more art into the world, here is a real way you can do it: helping me scratch the most basic of needs off the list, so I can use my full power of attention towards creating things the world needs.

In a time of AI and a growing loneliness epidemic, we need more authentic creation and vulnerable sharing that allows us to connect. If you want more of that in the world, but don't know how to bring it about because you are working 40+ hours a week, taking care of kids, or aging parents, retired and looking for something, never found an art medium you could sink your teeth into, etc; here is how you can be a part of putting more beauty into the world. Here is how you can create beauty WITH me by believing in me and supporting me with this foundational need that everything is built off of. And you will indeed, no matter how much you donate, be listed as an Executive Producer of everything I create from here on out. Because it would be YOU indeed who was a vital part of bringing the creation to life.

MAYBE I’M CRAZY:

Lastly, I'm aware some will think I've lost my damn mind. And maybe I have. Or maybe I'm just being bolder and more vulnerable than any of us have ever been conditioned to think we could be or we were allowed to be. Some will lose respect for me (unfortunately, some of the closest people to me will). I was raised and conditioned to never ask for help with money. But that story doesn't resonate with me. So I'm working to overcome that by being vulnerable enough to share where I can use some help. My fear of what people will think of me is the thing that makes this hard. So for me, that's reason enough to be brave and ask. No matter how many donations arrive. We can never make everyone happy and proud of us all the time. So better to just be true to ourselves, whatever that looks like.

If this isnpires just one person to ask for the help they need: they are having dark thoughts and need help getting off the ledge/their partner is mentally, physically, and or emotioanlly abusive and they need help getting out/they have an addiction that is taking over their life and they need help getting free and clear/ they have a health issue that they need help covering/ anything else under the sun that a human might legitimately need help with but is too scared to ask for it, whatever backlash comes from this or if I don’t reach my goal, it will be worth it to me. To me, it just makes more sense to follow the edict, "ask, and you shall receive," than to follow the societal conditioning of, "stay silent and suffer with your shame for having a need."

Thank you so much for being in my life. Whether I've known you from day one, or we met for one day. You are a thread in the tapestry that makes me who I am, and therefore, you are already a part of everything I create. I hope you desire to create more with me.

BECOME A PART OF THE PROCESS = BE AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: https://gofund.me/47d735edb